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May
30
Just moved to
THE SUNNY OKANAGAN. NOW THIS
IS THE PLACE TO LIVE.
Beautiful sunny
days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!
It's a fabulous place to be.
I've finally
found my home. I love it here.
June
14
Really heating
up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. I live in
an air-conditioned home, drive an
air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the
sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshipper.
June
30
Had the backyard
landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No
more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher
today, but I love it here.
July
10
The temperature
hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
get used to this kind of heat? At least it's
kind of windy though. But getting used to it,
the heat is taking longer than I
expected.
July
15
Fell asleep by
the community pool. Got third degree burns over
60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a
dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though.
Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like
this.
July
20
I missed Furby
(my cat) sneaking into my car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at
noon, Furby had died and swollen up to the size
of a shopping bag and stunk up the upholstery.
The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I
learned my lesson though. No more pets in this
heat!
July
25
The wind sucks!
It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer. And
it's hot as hell!!!!! The home air-conditioner
is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged
$200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
order parts.
July
30
Been trying to
sleep outside on the patio for 3 nights now.
The damn mosquitoes are sending all their
relatives to me for a buffet dinner. A $379,000
house and I can't even go inside. Why did I
ever come here?
August
4
It's 105 degrees.
Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It
cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85.
I hate this stupid city.
August
8
If another
wise-ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?"
I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the
time I get to work the radiator is boiling
over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell
like freaking baked cat!!
August
9
Tried to run some
errands after work. Wore shorts and when I sat
on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was
on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the
hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car
smells like burnt hair, fried ass and baked
cat.
August
10
The weather
report might as well be a damn recording. Hot
and sunny! Hot and sunny! Hot and
sunny!
It's been too hot
to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman
says it might really warm up next
week.
Doesn't it ever
rain in this desert? Water rationing will be
next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry
up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in
this damn heat.
August
14
Welcome to
HELL!!
Temperature got
to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and
blew the windshield out of the car. The
installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough
for you today?" My Mom had to spend $1500 to
bail me out of jail.
Freaking
OKANAGAN!! What kind of sick demented idiot
would want to live here??
Will write
later to let you know how the trial
went.
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